I Bought the Groom

Irony died a silent death, was laid in a grave and turned around in agony, when the UPSC qualified groom’s parents put forth a demand of 51 Lakh rupees as the wedding expenses. The bride’s father haggled at first, begged then and finally said yes agreeing to manage, fantasizing a stable and bright future for his daughter. He had saved all his life to be able to marry off his daughter to a well settled guy and irrespective of whether he would've a penny left after paying up or not, he felt a tremor of joy that shook him. He went home almost crying and informed his wife "I bought the groom". And then, together they shed tears of happiness.

She had had the best upbringing, accessed the best books and qualified competitive exams to study at reputed institutes. She was decent at her studies and landed a job with one of the better known MNCs post the completion of the course. All this was celebrated in her household when she cleared the exams, cleared job interviews. But as soon as she turned nubile, no such achievement mattered because first she was a girl who needed to be married off and then sarkari naukri is the Holy Grail.

He had managed to get through to a decent engineering institute which a lot of students manage to get into. Later he worked even harder and made the grade for a Central Government job and voila, there was a goldmine that his father had discovered suddenly. Vanity was at its best when the father felt proud and regularly thumped his chest when prospective brides’ parents came with open hearts and even bigger cheques at his doorstep. This was the same father who had made his son’s life hell, when he couldn’t make it to an IIT, making him realize every morning that he was no good and that may be being a rickshaw puller was his destiny.

This is the most common story across Mainland Bihar, where a sarkari naukri still holds sway over the best paying jobs from around the world. The guys with government jobs are the trophies that the brides’ parents fight over. Dowry, which started as a practice of gifting the bride for a life in an unknown family, had evolved into an exchange of Gandhijis by the time the last decade passed. It has now morphed into a modern day No Dowry only expenses borne transaction between the bride’s and the groom’s family.

The veneer of a developing society with broadening mentalities suddenly gets lifted, when the son grows into a marriageable man. Dowry given for the daughter’s marriage starts the turning of the vicious cycle, on the lines of what goes around comes around.

As if the decadent society constantly fighting over religious and casteist divides needed another reason to dig its own grave, the growing gender divide is worsening off the living conditions. While the fight used to be away from the homes earlier, it has creeped inside the homes now. The transaction based marriage leaves both the sides poorer- the bride’s side materially and the groom’s side morally.

The neo educated seem to be muted bystanders in the repulsive dance of greed that every marriage has become. The same people, who write 2000 words long essays on how they would work towards creating a better society, fall at the first hurdle post qualifying. What used to be the celebration of two families coming together as one is now marked with faultlines right from the beginning. Sooner rather than later, these faultlines are sure to give way to earthquakes and volcanoes. Growing rate of divorces is only the start.

It is high time that the current generation starts standing up for itself as well as for the other gender which has every right to be treated an equal. Till the time fathers continue bearing the expenses of marriages of someone else’s son, fetuses will continue to killed, newly born girl child will continue to be found abandoned.

They say that Sharing is Caring. Unless it is put in practice, no matter how many essays are written around it, no matter how many schemes governments start running, the society will continue to grow even more morose. A relationship that is started for caring for one another, has to be built with the bricks of sharing. These bricks need to be laid at the time of building the house, not once it stands up on shaky foundations!